finals week

Its finals week knowing i have to get through 5 finals i turn music as my best friend this week. Two songs will be constantly played this week.

All I can say by David Crowder
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JmIZOd5AXmQ

Lord I'm tired
So tired from walking
And Lord I'm so alone
And Lord the dark
Is creeping in
Creeping up
To swallow me
I think I'll stop
Rest here a while

Chorus:
And this is all that I can say right now
And this is all that I can give
And this is all that I can say right now
And this is all that I can give, that's my everything

Lord didn't You see me cry'n?
And didn't You hear me call Your name?
Wasn't it You I gave my heart to?
I wish You'd remember
Where you sat it down

Chorus:
And this is all that I can say right now, i know it's not much.
But this is all that I can give, yeah that's my everything.
This is all that I can say right now [right now], i know it's not much.
But this is all that I can give, yeah that's my everything.

Bridge:
I didn't notice You were standing here
I didn't know that
That was You holding me
I didn't notice You were cry'n too
I didn't know that
That was You washing my feet

And this is all
This is all that I can say right now, oh i know its not much.
But this is all that I can give, yeah that's my everything.
This is all that I can say right now [right now], i know it's not much.
But this is all that I can give, yeah that's my everything.
This is all that I can say right now, oh i know it's not much.
But this is all that I can give, yeah that's my everything..
yeah that's my everything..
yeah that's my everything..
everything...

And

Sound of Your Voice
By:Lauren Strahm
http://vimeo.com/4541322

I will wait for You to move today
I will wait for You to move in this place
I lay my burdens at Your throne
Here in our secret place, we're all alone

Chorus:
Standing firm, I will not be shaken
Stir it up, in my heart awaken
A desire for You
My heart is Yours
Forever, only Yours

I will wait for You to speak today
I will wait for You to speak in this place
I fall before You at Your throne
To hear Your whisper now, we're all alone

Bridge:
At the sound of Your voice
At the sound of Your voice
At the sound of Your voice
I will be silent

Heaven cries Your mercy reigns

Listen to them, they are slowly changing my life
be home soon :)

four weeks...

I have four weeks, well actually less than that till i am done with my freshman year of college. wow such a crazy feeling to look back on my first year, such a rollercoster. looking back on how i have changed and who i have become i am defanitly in a total different place then i ever thought i would be right now. I am so different, yes some good, some bad but mostly i just feel like i am actually growing up. I am nervous for when i go home this summer, i am going back to a place that is expecting someone i am not anymore, its a werid feeling knowing that people dont know you anymore. I guess we shall see what happens, guess we will have to get to know eachother again.

4 weeks....

Fight for your happiness

This week I have talked to a lot of people about being happy, being at spring spring arbor and about their lives. Although i am with people on their feelings of not being happy here i am trying to have a different attitude about this situation. In high school i had a friend who was so unhappy, she was so unhappy to the point that she did things that i do not agree with. I could never understand how she could feel that way, and since that friendship i have had the mentality that in life we have to fight for our happiness. It is not always going to come to you, in life you gotta be a fighter. Lately I have had to be a fighter and its working, I am happy. I may not love it here at the arbor, but i have some really good friendships come my way lately. I have also seen some of my really good friends a lot lately as well. I also got a new tat! I am going to continue fighting because that what i need to do, and that what i want to do. So if you read this, which i do not think a lot of people do remember this.... Be a fighter, fight for happiness because you do have some control! Live your life and love your life because if you dont find joy in the little things, you are not a fighter!


Love

Who

Who are your people?
Who is going to fight for you?
Who is going to be there when you have no one?
Who knows you better than you know yourself?
Who is going to love you even when you feel unlovable?
Who is going to know when you need that hug?
Who is going to see behind that smile?
Who is going to actually give a shit and not just say they do?
Who makes you laugh?
Who can you cry with?
Who can you be more real with than anyone?
Who supports you in everything?
Who has your back?
Who makes you a better person?
?

Surely we can by david crowder

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WuV5btFoZas

And the problem is this
We were bought with a kiss
But the cheek still turned
Even when it wasn't hit

And I don't know
What to do with a love like that
And I don't know
How to be a love like that

When all the love in the world
Is right here among us
And hatred too
And so we must choose
What our hands will do

Where there is pain
Let there be grace
Where there is suffering
Bring serenity
For those afraid
Help them be brave
Where there is misery
Bring expectancy
And surely we can change
Surely we can change
Something

And the problem it seems
Is with you and me
Not the Love who came
To repair everything

Where there is pain
Let us bring grace
Where there is suffering
Bring serenity
For those afraid
Let us be brave
Where there is misery
Let us bring them relief
And surely we can change
Surely we can change
Oh surely we can change
Something

Oh, the world's about to change
The whole world's about to change

lately...

Today I was listening to music and well you know pondering life, i do that sometimes. Well i was just thinking about some past decisions i have made, and well i hate not knowing i made the right choice or not. lately i have been second guessing a lot, guess we will just have to wait and see...

....overwhelmed

Last night i was reunited with six of my best friends, it was the first time we had all be together since the summer. It was such an amazing time to finally be with them again. I am such a lucky person for being able to have such amazing relationships in my life. They are my than just my friends, they are my mentors, they have been there for me through so many things. Shoot they got me through high school haha. While i was sitting there talking with them i became so overwhelmed with my life. It was the first time i got to slow down and just look at what has happened of in my life recenty. I am done with my first semester of college and it is so much different then i thought it was going to be, its a lot harder. This semester Basketball has been hard, decisions have been hard and i am still dealing with those decisions because they are killing me. Friendships have been hard, being away from them and new ones.

With these challenges i am growing up so much and God is using these experiences to slap me in the face. I need him, there is no other way to put it. I need God more than i have ever needed him in my life. I am growing up and it is hard, its shouldn't be easy. I dont have those friends 15 mins up the road anymore, i am on my own and i guess you never really know how good you had it till it is gone. I am just really lucky that i had those people in my life for as long as i did. They taught me so much and they are still teaching me so much. Through all this, I love how much i am growing up. I am a lot and it is an amazing thing to be able to feel God loving you through the struggle. SO GREAT! I am getting a break for a little while, i am going to use this time to ust reflect and rengergize for next semester.