....overwhelmed

Last night i was reunited with six of my best friends, it was the first time we had all be together since the summer. It was such an amazing time to finally be with them again. I am such a lucky person for being able to have such amazing relationships in my life. They are my than just my friends, they are my mentors, they have been there for me through so many things. Shoot they got me through high school haha. While i was sitting there talking with them i became so overwhelmed with my life. It was the first time i got to slow down and just look at what has happened of in my life recenty. I am done with my first semester of college and it is so much different then i thought it was going to be, its a lot harder. This semester Basketball has been hard, decisions have been hard and i am still dealing with those decisions because they are killing me. Friendships have been hard, being away from them and new ones.

With these challenges i am growing up so much and God is using these experiences to slap me in the face. I need him, there is no other way to put it. I need God more than i have ever needed him in my life. I am growing up and it is hard, its shouldn't be easy. I dont have those friends 15 mins up the road anymore, i am on my own and i guess you never really know how good you had it till it is gone. I am just really lucky that i had those people in my life for as long as i did. They taught me so much and they are still teaching me so much. Through all this, I love how much i am growing up. I am a lot and it is an amazing thing to be able to feel God loving you through the struggle. SO GREAT! I am getting a break for a little while, i am going to use this time to ust reflect and rengergize for next semester.

I want more of you and less of me Jesus...

I never really know how to start these things...

I am sitting in the lobby right now with a lot of people around me but i am just listening to worship music by my lonesome. I am listening to Empty by Jeremy Camp and it is making a lot sense. There is one verse says "Holy Fire burn away, my desire for anything that is not of you and is of me, I want more of you and less of me, yeah. Empty me, Empty me, yeah, Fill, won't you fill me, with you, with you, yeah."

As i listen to this song and the words i cant help but think about how i have been living my life. If i am being honest right now if you asked me how basketball was going i would probably swear at you, it sucks. I am feeling totally chipped about the situation and my coach said some stuff that made me feel like i am just good for a laugh and that is about it. Its just hard to know what you deserve and not to get it. So what is my reaction to this? Its not fair, why is this happening, why play if this is happening?

My answer to question i keep asking myself is what i heard in church today. In all things good or bad, God uses them for good. God is going to use this struggle, unfairness and embarrassment for good in someway. He will love me through it like he has been and i am going to make it. I am going to be even more close to him after and i know someway somehow he is using this experience for good. Doesnt make much sense now but God's got my back and when i look back i know i will smile about it.

Until then i look at tomorrow and say its going to be a great day. I have amazing friends, amazing teammates, amazing family, i can walk, i have everything and more then i could ever need and ask for, and most of all i have an amazing God and his unfailing love.

To be quit honest i could quit, i could take the easy way out, but i dont think that would be of God's will. I think he wants me on that team right now, i think he wants to love on my teammates with all i have, and if that is what he wants of me, i am going to do as best as i can. And i do love those girls with everything i am and would do anything for them, and i think God has a lot to do with that. But is it hard to sit on the bench, get the water all the time, cheer on, never see the floor and sing worship songs so i can get through the game with smile yes.....but i will keep doing because thats what God wants me to...

As Lauren Wojcik would say.."enjoy the struggle."

good weekend

I must say being able to go to TWL this weekend with pretty much all my best friends was amazing and very needed. God loves me so much, he has given me such great friends. Like they are all blessings and this weekend i feel like i realized how much i miss them and how great they have been to me. It made it really hard to come back to school i must say.

I asked God a lot of questions this weekend and i prayed a lot. I basically told him how i felt about a big question i had in my life. I told him what i felt him calling me to do and that was what i was going to do unless he told me very clearly to do something different.

prayin for clarity and you know what i think i am getting it...

Getting lost...

Ok...I am really really bad at directions, I could get lost going to somewhere that I have been many times. I am just that smart, if i accumulated all the money that i have wasted in gas i would have a small fortune, seriously.

BUT

The point of this is tonight i got lost on the way back to school but something was different this time. I would usally just freak out call my dad all histerical, but this time I just keep going. Although it took me a long time to get back to school, and i did have to back track many times, I found my way.

Ok I know this is typical, but this was a real God moment for me. I am in a point in my life that i somewhat know the destination for my life, going into some kind of ministry. The thing is, I honestly have no idea how i am going to get there, but i am ok with it and i am just going to keep going...

gotta shake this mood...

Lately i have been finding myself in these weird moods where i cant explain my feelings and emotions. A lot of times it is after bball (surprise surprise). I guess i am trying really hard to be alright with not having a stinkin clue with where i am going to end up in the future. It is honestly a scary thought to me not haivng a stinkin idea where i am going to end up and what i am going to do. I know God has big plans for all of us but I suck and am totally freaked out about it. I am honeslty so frustrated with college, not because i dont like it here its just that hate my classes! Gen eds suck! Thats not really the point though, i just want to be out in the world.

blah blah blah

hmm...

Have you ever had a defining moment where everything at that moment made so much sense?!?!
Like God slapped you in the face with the holy spirt haha (sorry inside joke)

Welll obviously I have and the funny thing is, is that i didnt know how defining it was to recently. I love how God keeps reminding of this memory and is using this random experience in big ways..he is LE-GIT like that.

........closer

Beautiful are the words spoken to me
Beautiful is the one who speaking (2x)

CHORUS:
Come in close, come in close and speak
Come in close, come closer to me

Beautiful are the words spoken to me
Beautiful is the one who speaking
(Chorus)

BRIDGE:
The power of your words are filled with grace and mercy
Let them fall on my ears and break my stony heart
(Chorus)

Take the good with the bad...

I am so blessed to be at a fantastic school here at spring arbor, BUT i feel lately someways as if i am not as close to God as i want to be. I am at this school where God is so evident and so many people are in love him that it is easy to become content with my faith.

For example when you have food in front of your face all the time you never really feel hungry.

I pray for Hunger....

kinda funny

so we have had preseason condtioning for about two weeks now and i am the only one who has done every single workout all the way through haha wow.....love this sport!

There is 14 girls on the team and 13 of them have either been sick or hurt and had to miss out on some of the work outs or all of them.

I just think its funny i dunno why...

excitment

I am really excited because today i joined a small group specialized for student leadership :)
I am also happy because i got to see a lot of my fav E-rap chicks yesterday!

short and sweet but too the point.

September 8, 2008

basketball starts tomorrow.....

New people...

I am really enjoying meeting new people her at SAU. The only thing is that i want to meet everyone really fast and i am meeting a good quantity but i am not getting to know them very well. I do know the basketball players pretty well because i did know a lot of them prior to getting to school and they are sweet don't get me wrong but i dont want to limit my friendships to just the bball team. Although again i love them dearly.

Last night was movie night at the arbor we watched some narina movie and i dont like those movies but whatelse was i going to do here on a friday night hahah. Prior to the movie i got talking to some girls on my floor one actually living upstair. I came to find out that the girls who live on this floor are from WILLIAMSTON!!! but went to dansville. OK to make a long kinda boring story short, i went to the movie with the girls and i learned that they are halirous and i really like them!! ok the whole point of the blog is just to explain two things...that i need to stop trying to meet everyone at once and slowly just get to know people AND God is awesome!!

I think everything is going to workout here...

new beginings

so i am here sitting in my nice not too small dorm room right now. Today was my first full day here at the Arbor and i have already felt almost every emotion a person can feel haha oh college. I just pray that God speaks to me here , well i know he will i just pray that i hear it. I have so many thoughts in my head and i just want to do what glorifys God.

We had our first chapel today and it was nothing short of aMAZing. The worship was fantastic and the speaker gave me chills. Also one of my new really good friends excepted Jesus into her life. PRAISE GOD!!!! There are so many emotions going through my head right now and i wish i could put into words what i am feeling but i am not a english major for a reason.

I do really miss my friends tho, i am friend sick you know like homesick but with friends. They are honestly my rocks and i just really miss there faces.

But all in all God is good and i know i am where he wants me to be. He has really hooked me up lately and his love for me has been so effident, from new friendships to roommates to new friends.

Guess all i can say is I am madly in love with Jesus and I know being here at SAU my relationship will only grow and mature. How lucky could i get?

I want to write a book

I want to write a book about ten random things about Christainty...i only have five right now tho.

1.Never be content
2.Get out of your comfort zone
3.Those friend
4.Love hard
5. Be still and know he is God

What God has put on my heart...

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world  James 1:27

But none of these things move me;nor do i count my life dear to myself, so i may finish my race with joy and the ministry that i have received from my lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God. Acts 20:24

would not know where to begin

I got home from a week in haiti yesterday. I can say with all honesty it is by far my favorite  place in this entire world. I could sit her for hours on end trying to put into words what i experienced there i could type story after story but i would just grow frustrated and probably start crying. The truth is that my trip to haiti was so many things...it was amazing, hard, physically and emotionally draining, spiritually challenging, heart wrenching, joyful, saddening...i could go on.

It could also be the most important week of my life so far. God shook me up hard core and i am still trying to figure out how he is using my time spent in seguin but i do know that when i figure out its going to be scary and it going to be hard.....so i saw bring it, i am not promising all smiles but i will try my best to rely on my God and thats all i can really do.

Right now my God is the only thing that makes sense to me.

I love Church!!

Tonight for the first time in a long time i got to attend church! I have not been there because i have been gone sooo much.

I went by myself, which i like to do sometimes because its nice to go and just hang out with Jesus! During worship, which is one of my favorite things to do ever we sang some of my favorite songs!! I just closed my eyes, raised my hands and thought to myself, "its good to be home." Thats what i love about worshiping my lord because its where i feel like i am truly home.

Some of the songs we sang tonight made me think of a lot of my favorite people i have been missing a lot this summer!

We sang.....

All my tears, this song reminds me of shannon and her mom because they love it.

Everlasting, this makes me think of soooo many people but mostly Sween and Amy! i miss singing this song with them sooo much!!

How great tho art, This makes me think of Elizabeth, she loves this song and i love her and miss her!!!

The sermon was by a man who is a missionary over in Amsterdam. I loved it because i want to be a missionary too! He just talked about his life and how he became to where he is now. 

After the service i talked to him a little bit and also talked to Dan price about his trip to mexico, it was so cool what they did over there, made me want to go. I told him about my upcoming trip to Haiti and he introduced me to a man named Gary. He is an older man who had been to haiti a couple of times. Anytime i can talk to anyone about haiti i love it!! I talked to him for about 20 mins, it was kinda funny because he was asking me about my life and he was like so are you married haha. But he was a great guy and i cant wait to come back and tell him about my experience.

random but, I get to see Dilyn on Monday and Shan comes home Wednesday!

LoVe My NeW lApToP!

I got a mac for school next year and i seriously love it!!! 

GO MAC'S!!!!

I love my family

I went to myrtle beach a week ago. We go every year because we own a condo up there. WE go with my dads side of the family which i have truly grown to love more than myself. I actually get pretty emotional whenever i have to say goodbye to them. I want to tell you about my family because they are truly amazing people and i love being around them!

I'll go oldest to youngest

My grandpa- We call him pup, he loves us all soooo much you can just tell that being around all his family is what makes him happiest. My dad has told me stories about how he worked in a factory when he was a kid, but he should had been a carpenter because he had mad skills at making things out of wood.

My Grandma- she is one of the most loving people i know. She is just like my pup she finds such joy in just being around our family. She loves me sooo well and i love her sooo much. she is the best grandma you could ever ask for plus she loves to go in the waves with us at the beach :)

My uncle Bert- He is married my aunt beth, who is my dads sister....ok well he is a cool dude. He is a go go go kinda guy but he is always fun. He is always thinking of others and i love hime a lot.

My dad- he is my biggest fan and he is one fantastic dad who lovses me.. he alwasys tells me he is proud of me and it never gets old. He is a great guy and he dresses really well! He has worked so hard at his job and its cool to see how much success he has gotten, GO DAD!

My mom-she is a keeper i tell you what, she does so much for me and she just does it. She is a redheaded bombshell!!!

My Uncle Jeff - he may be a quiet fellow but he shows all us cousins that he really loves us in his own way and we all are aware of it :)

My Aunt beth - she is one of the coolest people i know! i love hanging arond her just as much as i like hanging out with my cousins its great! She is such a loving person and probably one of my fav people of all time!

My Uncle Colin - he is married to my aunt lynn, who is my dads sister. He is a really funny guys and one of the best hands on fathers i have ever seen.  He is actually in the airforce and a big deal!

My Aunt Lynn- she is my dads sister. she is awesome, and loves everyone soo much!! She is a great mom to her two kids and those kids will forever feel liked the most loved kids in the world!

My Sister- we tend to not get a long but she is alright. She is getting older so now she thinks she is too old to hang out with all the cousins but whateve....more time for me to hangout with them :)

Me- i am so loved by all these people i am sooooo blessed!

Jono- he is my aunts beth's and uncle berts 1st son. He is a really good golfer and he is pretty funny too. He is a smart kid and i love him a lot. I am pretty close to him because we have always had sports in common. 

Maria-She is jono's sister, She is a fantastic dancer. She is really fun and i am really close with her and we have sooo much fun together and she is soo easy going. She is just like me and loves our family.

Brandon- He is the younger bro of maria and jono. He is seriously one of the smartest kids ever. He is so cute and is wayyy mature for his age but he is still my little cousin that i love sooo much!

Rebecca-she is my aunt lynn and uncle collins first child. She is little miss priss but she is adorable and i love her sooo much!

Will- he is the newest addition to our family. He is the cutest little boy and i love him sooo much!

I love my family and can not wait until myrtle beach next year!!

I miss and love

In no order...

1. Dilyn Duffey
2. Shannon Murphy
3. Allison Jenney
4. Amy Lundman
5. Lauren Wojick
and soon to be...
6.Katie Sweeney
7.Chris Oakland
incomplete list

omg there is so many i could be her all night

ummm

sometimes you just can't put your feelings into words...that would be today


i miss Dilyn she just gets me

....a lot has changed

A lot has changed since i have written on this...well i am NOT IN HIGH SCHOOL ANYMORE!!!

wow how weird its donezo high school is literally sooo two weeks ago! As exciting as it is, it can be sad at times not knowing if i am ever going to see any of those people again. it just makes me wonder if i did all God intended me to do. I was talking to shan yesterday on gmail and she said someting that i love, "you will see the people God wants you to see." it crazy that something that simple can make me feel so much better. I really miss shan!

Well today i scheduled my tattoo appointment! i am excited well i will blog more later loves!

State Champs BABY!

Yesterday well actually two days ago my amazing track team and I won the division two team state championship! It was soooo cool considering we moved up a division from last year! Because we won this we get escorted into town, this is pretty cool considering they stop all traffic through our on traffic light. They do this because we stop the bus there all get out and kiss the ground and sing our fight song, it is amazing!! I have got to do this three times and each time i have felt like such a big deal haha. It is cool winning something like that with a team, it's cool being about of something that is bigger than yourself.

One the bus ride home i was listening to my ipod and the song "you're gonna miss this came on." This just made me a little teary eyed for a second because (but that was really only for a second because it was at the part of the movie where hott black guys had there shirt off so i got happy fast) i am truly going to miss the track team. I was extremely lucky no scratch that, extremely blessed that i was able to be on the Williamston track team this year. The girls i got to hangout with everyday after school and on Saturdays are such great people. I hope next year when i come back to visit they are going to be as happy to see me as i am going to be to see them.

God really did hook me up with such wonderful teammates this year, who turned into awesome friends.

Man i love Jesus!

I'm all registered!

I went to my freshman orientation today, it actually was really fun! I felt like i laughed a lot and i love to laugh!! I am officially a cougar!

One part of the day we had stations we had to go to and one was about chapel. The chapel dean i think is what he was asked us one question and one question only. He asked back in the bible days why did people believe in Jesus. Thinking thats an easy question but then he added this, people we martyred and there children skinned alive if they were found out to be a believer of Jesus. Well it is safe to say i was stumped, everyone was quiet then he said something that gave me chills. He said "they believed in the Jesus because the tomb was empty, it's as simple as that."

Then it really hit me when he ask do you base you relationship with Jesus on you experiences or just your faith and love. He said too many people base it off there experiences and what they do with and for Jesus. He said never base it off that base it off your love and faith and i think that is awesome!!

I love Jesus and can not WAIT for college next year, big things are going to happen to my life and faith!!! I am ready to grow with Jesus!

Love

I am on the Williamston Girls track team and i think there about 45 girls on the team. Sometimes i just look around and i see all the girls i think how cool it is that i can love all of them. I think as people we focus on how great it is to feel loved, when in all reality it is but, i think that it is also a great feeling to love on others.

I love my savior, i love my friends, i love my family, i love my life :)
and hey if you are reading this love you too!

I love that Jesus taught us this in ultimate way for dieing for us on the cross for our sins. I love the word love and i used it a lot in this blog.


We love because he first loved us.
1 John 4:19

Why hello there...

So I decided to try out this blog thing, i am still trying to figure out if i have anything legit to say. I love that word legit it is soo great, ok let me try this blogging thing for real.

Today was my last Monday in high school ever!!! It is so exciting i am ready to be out of Williamston High school it is not even funny. In the same sense with the end of high school brings the end of a lot of things, a lot of things that i don't want to end. It is kinda a love hate kinda thing, but that is life. I am so excited to see what life will bring, the joys and the sorrows, my only hope is that it makes me stronger and closer with my Lord and Savior.

Life is so great isn't it?

I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:14